Campus Security Guard Accidentally Shoots Himself, Blames Imaginary Black Man

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Delusional and racist — of course this man had a job with a gun…

Brent Ahlers, a security guard at St. Catherine University in St. Paul, Minnesota was shot in the shoulder on Tuesday night.

He told police the shooter was a black man with a “short Afro” wearing a navy blue sweatshirt, leading to an hours-long lockdown in which dozens of officers searched the campus.

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Unfortunately, the 55 officers, four K-9 units, and State Patrol helicopter would have needed something else in order to track down the suspect — the power of imagination.

On Wednesday night, Ahlers finally admitted there was no black suspect; he had shot himself on accident!

Apparently he wasn’t even supposed to be carrying a weapon; it was his own gun from home!

Ahlers was only booked on the misdemeanor charge of falsely reporting a crime. Sergeant Mike Ernster explained:

“We didn’t have enough to charge him with reckless discharge of a firearm.”

Um… the gunshot wound wasn’t evidence enough??

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It’s bad enough this idiot brought his own gun to work, somehow shot himself IN THE SHOULDER, and then made up a story about an attacker. But by making his imaginary suspect black, he legitimately put lives at risk.

Thank goodness police never found someone who happened to meet the description!

The university officially fired Ahlers on Thursday. But if you ask us, he’s getting off LIGHT.

[Image via Ramsey County Jail.]

Tags: brent ahlers, busted!, crazzzzy, gun violence, icky icky poo, legal matters, social issues, st. catherine university, tacky and true, violence, viral: news, wacky