All hell broke loose on social media on Sunday, when Master of None star Aziz Ansari was accused of sexually assaulting a woman he had dated in September 2017. A Brooklyn-based photographer shared a first-hand account of how a date with the actor turned into a nightmare.
Ansari, for the uninitiated is one of the most vocal feminists in Hollywood and had once famously said: “I feel like if you do believe that, if you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you’re feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work,” he says, joking, “You can’t be like, ‘Oh yeah I’m a doctor that primarily does diseases of the skin.’ Oh, so you’re a dermatologist? ‘Oh no, that’s way too aggressive of a word! No no not at all not at all.”
In the article of Babe.net, the lady called it ‘by far the worst experience with a man I’ve ever had’. Revealing the graphic details, Grace claimed that when after the date they returned to Ansari’s posh Tribeca apartment, the actor grew aggressive and repeatedly placed her hands on his crotch. He allegedly also stuck two of his fingers in her throat and then tried to insert them into her vagina.
Grace said that she asked him to slow down and told him that she was uncomfortable. Despite giving verbal and non-verbal cues, Ansari coerced her into performing oral sex on him, Grace alleged. She recalled that she was in tears when finally managed to get out of the apartment. She shared a screenshot of her text messages with Ansari after the horrible encounter. The Park and Recreation star apologised for his behaviour.
While there was an outpouring of support for the woman, others felt that Ansari, despite not being a gentleman, didn’t qualify to be termed a sexual assaulter. Many felt that the episode highlighted the importance of understanding non-verbal consent, and wondered if consent was coerced because he was a celebrating.
Other commentators even felt that such accusations of sexual assault, would undermine the #MeToo movement. Another wrote: “Sorry. A bad date – even a date from hell – is not sexual assault. Muddying the waters like this does a serious disservice to actual victims of sexual assault.”
Check out the tweets below:
I talked to a girl who says she went on a date with @azizansari in an exclusive for @babedotnet. She told me, “It was by far the worst experience with a man I’ve ever had.” I believe her. #TimesUp #MeToo #AzizAnsari https://t.co/p7q0fjSsh0
— Katie Way (@k80way) January 13, 2018
I swear that men all go the the same school for gross sexual inappropriateness. If I had a dollar for every a** who did the “take the girl’s hand and place it on….”, I’d be able to buy and sell @richardbranson https://t.co/7DCF7qHSqT
— KAT (@missujdenver) January 14, 2018
The Aziz Ansari story really hammers home that a sexual ethic based *solely* on technical consent will be one that privileges those who are powerful enough to acquire it.
— Jeremy McLellan (@JeremyMcLellan) January 14, 2018
Re: Aziz Ansari, whether his behaviour can be classified as assault is being determined, it all still comes down to the problem that men don’t understand the idea of ‘consent’. And they have reached this stage because for better or worse, it’s not been told to them explicitly.
— Nikhil Taneja (@tanejamainhoon) January 14, 2018
This story is chillingly familiar for all too many women. We leave these situations feeling sickened, degraded, bursting at the seams with our shame – and we know that the guy in question won’t give it another single, solidarity thought. #AzizAnsari
— Louise O’ Neill (@oneilllo) January 14, 2018
The #MeToo movement began as a stance against sexual misconduct in the workplace. With this Aziz Ansari allegation, we’re about to crimininalize bad dates. IF he’s guilty of assault, he SHOULD be punished. However, crucifying every man who isn’t a gentleman is unreal. #AzizAnsari
— Joseph A. Wulfsohn (@JosephWulfsohn) January 14, 2018
I believe her too. This story is a tragic but important example of how a lot of men know consent in theory, say the right things, and are so blinded by their own self-image as A Good Guy they can’t imagine they’re the monster. https://t.co/Ko9tj74G9H
— Elizabeth Sampat (@twoscooters) January 14, 2018
Good afternoon. Stop trusting guys. Nice guys are a myth. Thank you. https://t.co/Qc6SasKvYq
— Mahima Kukreja (@AGirlOfHerWords) January 14, 2018
— Becca (@BeccaW127) January 14, 2018
It’s very simple: it doesn’t matter if she consented to a sexual act earlier, it doesn’t matter if someone was half way thru something and then decide they don’t want to.
NO-ONE HAS A RIGHT TO CONTINUE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER IF THEIR PARTNER IS UNCOMFORTABLE OR UNWILLING. https://t.co/w7GHwYTBPz
— Dr Fern Riddell (@FernRiddell) January 14, 2018
This is awful. I know people are dismissing this as just a bad date but for so many women “bad dates” mean being violated in a way that shatters us. https://t.co/A0hTvVPWjJ
— Arnesa (@Rrrrnessa) January 14, 2018
“A bad date with Aziz Ansari is not a crime”
I’m getting nervous… Victims of sexual assault want justice. I get it, I support it. A bad date with Aziz Ansari is not a crime and should not be used to ruin his career. Women are starting to go too far in some cases, #AzizAnsari
— Bryanna (@Bryanna2017) January 14, 2018
— Seema Goswami (@seemagoswami) January 14, 2018
— Christina Sommers (@CHSommers) January 14, 2018
An anonymous, overly detailed (common indicator of a false allegation) account of a “date gone wrong” about someone who has built a career on understanding intricacies of gendered interaction? No. I’m calling bs on this one. #azizansari https://t.co/rOgkJaeJ1M
— Marlena (@cheapandbrittle) January 14, 2018
We all reading the same article about #AzizAnsari ? She was a participant. She continued with him, stopped, continued and left his apartment? She had plenty of opportunities to bounce if she wasn’t down??? This is becoming ridiculous.
— Whatdocowsdrink (@Whatdocowsdrink) January 14, 2018