Has the geek arrived on the dating scene?



The geek has always been forced to play second fiddle or sit out as the bad boys and goodlookers woo the women of their dreams. Pop culture too has spinned many romcoms and novels showcasing his plight as he loses out due to his aversion to social interaction, especially with women. However, if you look at the dating scene especially in Hollywood, things seem to have been drastically altered in favour of this intelligent breed. Not only are they dating some of the hottest women in tinsel town, some of them have also tied the knot. The list of couples include model Miranda Kerr and her husband, Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel, tennis champion Serena Williams and Reddit co-founder, Alexis Ohanian, billionaire Tesla CEO Elon Musk and model and actor Amber Heard, Beauty and the Beast star Emma Watson and tech enthusiast William Knight.

Have nerds beaten bad boys at the dating game?

Ask any woman about the qualities she would like in her man and sense of humour tops that list of traits across the globe. However, while women swear by this trait, men with a sense of humour beg to differ. As they feel they still have to compete with the bad boys who have always made it to a woman’s heart despite treating them shabbily and sometimes leaving them emotionally and physically broken. So, has the circle of bad relationships finally led to women moving away from bad boys to so-called ‘good guys’? It’s not as simple or as black and white as we would imagine. Hence, we approached relationship experts to give us an insight into the changing dating scene.

Women’s ideas of what’s attractive is changing

Clinical psychologist, Seema Hingorrany, believes that women back home too are attracted to men who they share an intellectual connection with because they feel that these men are more inclined to treating women right. She adds, “They can have interesting conversations with them and connect on different levels. Having said that women also want a sense of humour peppered along with intelligence. Many women, also tell me that he has great sense of humour but I cannot connect with him because I don’t see him as intelligent. This is mainly true for women who themselves are achievers and are very well read. Trends seem to be changing in relationships every now and then and so are women’s preferences.” While women in the West seem to be now warming up to the geek, in India, he has always been in demand especially when it came to marriages.

‘The geek was always in the marriage scene’

Psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal, goes on to emphasise that geeks were always in the marriage scene but never in the dating scene back home. India is a prime example where most girls would prefer to marry a high-paying geek than a “low-salaried” adventurous dude! In India, the geek has always been in demand, and the primary reason for this is stability.”

The geek appeal…

There’s a belief that he is someone who hasn’t had too many relationships so he can be trusted to remain loyal for long. Also, that he is a family man by nature. So can take away the extra pressures. He is happy being given his own time, not needing extra attention. But all’s not rosy in nerdom. A trophy wife is a geeks’ greatest ambition, because life-long he has been on the other side. A geek has no idea about a relationship, so many of them end up making a complete mess out of it. They can be very rigid or robotic in the way they look at a relationship. Not apt for ladies, who need that extra attention and love.

In short, while the West maybe waking up to the man with brains and a high IQ, back home he has always been the winner at least on the marriage scene. Lucky for him things maybe changing in the dating arena too, with women choosing to date men, who they share an intelligence and emotional quotient with.